September, 2004

Stop & Shoplift

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t shoplifted once in their life.  Or at least tried to.  I will confess to taking a pack of gum when I was a little kid.  I was actually pretty proud of myself, thinking I discovered a much better way to get stuff.  When we got in the car I showed my mom.  She was less impressed and made me go back and return it.  And she told me I had to confess to the manager about my thievish ways.  Thank God she was too lazy to follow me in.  I returned the gum, but no way was I turning myself in.  I learned my lesson that day.  Never tell mom when you break the law.  She’s no Ma Barker. 

Notwithstanding our desire for a great deal, shoplifting is a crime in Massachusetts.  If you are caught, the penalty can be substantial, depending on what you tried to steal.  If it’s your first offense and you clipped junk worth less than $100, then you can get up to a $250 fine.  If you grabbed the good stuff (worth more than $100) the fine goes up to a $1,000.  And second or third offenses will obviously get you higher fines and possible time in the pokey.

And don’t feel bad.  There are other ways that you can “pay” for your crimes.  Well one anyway.  Civil restitution.  The law provides that you have to reimburse the store for the costs of them busting you.  It costs a lot of money to put you on closed circuit television 24 hours a day and to have security guards follow you into the changing rooms.  The stores will recoup this expense by sending you a bill for up to $500.  And if you don’t pay it they can sue you but by now you are probably all set with going to court.  Better to just pay it.